We all experience stress in our daily lives, but what exactly is stress? It is a pervasive, intensely unpleasant and undefined feeling of restlessness which at the same time affects the body, our emotional state, our way of thinking and behaving. It is an innate and primitive survival mechanism, which is our body's way of warning us of an impending threat. So it is a very normal condition. Its positive function is that it is intended to warn us of a threatening situation and to prepare us, physically and mentally, to take appropriate preventive measures and react accordingly. This happens either when there is a real threat to our physical integrity (e.g. if we become a victim of theft), or when there is no danger but we experience a situation as threatening to ourselves (e.g. to meet a deadline for our work). This stress can in some phases of our life be increased in intensity, frequency and duration while in others it can be extremely mild.
What are some conditions that cause us stress?
Exogenous: stressful life circumstances, exposure to stressful situations (e.g. at work), financial problems, traumatic events (e.g. a natural disaster), toxic interpersonal relationships or lack of close interpersonal relationships, etc.
Endogenous: intense worry about the future, sense of loss of control, low self-confidence and/or negative self-image, emotional and psychological needs that are not met, etc.
The above are influenced and shaped according to the experiences that
we had until now in our lives (as children, teenagers and adults) with people who were important to us (parents, siblings, classmates, colleagues, friends etc.).
When we perceive a situation as threatening, the limbic system of our brain instructs the Autonomic Sympathetic Nervous System to activate the stress function, through the secretion of specific hormones and neurotransmitters (eg cortisol, adrenaline, etc.). The stimulation of the Sympathetic Nervous System causes a variety of physical symptoms (such as overexertion, tachycardia, tightness in the chest or stomach, dizziness, etc.) and the feeling of anxiety which can be accompanied by other emotions such as fear, anger, sadness and diffuse worry. When anxiety is prolonged over long periods of time, it can also be accompanied by depressive symptoms (lack of pleasure, feeling of emptiness, prolonged sadness, etc.).
What are possible reactions to stress?
The Fight (or Battle) reaction:
In its positive aspect, this reaction motivates us to face the threatening situation. For example, if we are going to take some important exams we prepare by studying our course so that we can pass it. Or if someone tries to hit us we will defend ourselves. In its negative aspect, this reaction is expressed in aggression and conflict. For example, in a disagreement with our partner, instead of discussing it and calmly expressing our opinion, we become aggressive and fight with him.
The Escape reaction
In its positive aspect it motivates us to avoid a real danger (e.g. if we see that a car on the street is running towards us to move away), or to avoid a conflict (e.g. we move away from the room instead of fighting) . In its negative aspect, this reaction leads to avoiding dealing with what is stressing us (e.g. we don't go to the interview we were invited to for a job), or to withdrawal from reality through addictions or other behaviors ( e.g. substances, alcohol, excessive use of the Internet, emotional overeating, over-consumption, etc.). But the more we avoid a situation that stresses us, the more our anxiety and uncomfortable feelings increase and eventually this situation becomes more dysfunctional.
The Freeze reaction
In its positive aspect, we distance ourselves for a while, so that we can observe the problem that worries us objectively and from a distance. This can help us find more effective ways to manage or resolve it and act accordingly. On the negative side, this reaction means that we become paralyzed by anxiety and feel powerless to mobilize to deal with it. We become passive recipients of stressful situations and feel that we cannot escape from them. Another negative aspect of the Freeze reaction is disconnection. That is, we "isolate" our emotions and act as if we do not feel them or as if we are not present in the situation we are in.
Influence at the level of thinking
At the thought level, stress has a negative effect when it causes us to have negative and destructive thoughts that affect the way we behave. However, the opposite may also be true i.e. if we have a negative way of perceiving ourselves, others and what happens to us, then these thoughts we think cause us increased anxiety and activate the negative aspects of stress reactions.
How can we manage stress in our daily lives?
First, we need to keep in mind that stress affects our body, emotion, thinking and behavior at the same time. The way (thought) we interpret the symptoms of anxiety (body - emotion) affects our behavior, while at the same time it creates other negative thoughts. Also, the way we perceive experiences from our external environment can intensify the symptoms of anxiety and affect the ways of reaction (fight-flight-freeze) as to whether they will be used in a positive or dysfunctional way. So we need to notice when stress appears, how we experience it on ourselves. That is, to become aware of the stress, so that we can then discover possible ways of dealing with it.
Key questions to ask ourselves for understanding and processing stress
1. Where do we feel stress symptoms in our body?
2. What emotions do we experience?
3. What thoughts automatically come to mind whenever an event occurs that affects us negatively?
4. How do we usually deal with stress when it occurs?
5. Do our reactions have positive or negative effects?
6. Does our way of thinking or behaving perpetuate stress or make it difficult for us to achieve our goals?
7. How much do these reactions help us?
8. Are there other more helpful ways?
9. How realistic are our negative thoughts?
Reconciliation with our negative emotions is equally important. That is, to accept them as human and to recognize their usefulness. Without negative emotions we would not be able to know when we are good and when we are not and so we would not be motivated to survive or change what we do not like and achieve our goals.
In any case, if we feel that the stress is overwhelming us and we cannot manage it alone or it is taking a toll on us psychologically, we can seek the help of a mental health professional.